A thought. Do Hillary and Obama have a deal?

So at the Jeanne Shaheen handshake event today, I met a nice older fellow who will remain anon.  He stood out because in that room full of Democrats he was wearing a Hillary 2008 button.  Granted, many of them supported her in the primary but every single one I know drank the kool-aid long ago.  But I'm drifting as I tend to do.

He is a foreign policy wonk and old aquaintence of Hill and Bill.  Plus I think he's worked in a few administrations.

He explained in sensible terms why VP would have been the worse thing for Hillary.  I agree, but then he explained to me how the platform of SOS can be used by her especially when his Oliness is so focused on the economy.  Neither of which Obama knows squat about.

He really led me to believe that Hill would not have accepted VP or as I'm now thinking, she let Obama know early on not to consider her for that position.  Which then got me really thinking that maybe they do have a deal.  Maybe when they met at Feinstiens house before she withdrew, maybe she made him an offer he couldn't refuse.

Hillary "Barry, You are screwed.  I just won more votes in a primary than any person in history.  Those people are pissed and there ain't no way no how they're gonna vote for your sorry ass.  Are you listening?"

Barry "Uh, yes I'm listenning but I thought we were getting together so you could pledge allegiance to me.  Then I was going to offer you the Vice Presidency."

Hillary "What? Do you and your crew of Rove deciples seriously think I'm going to just roll over and go away?  After almost two years of slapping you silly and getting punched in the gut myself?  Are you really that dumb?"  "Diane, did you hear this nitwit.  No!! I do not want to be your representative at funerals.  Let some senile old guy be your VP."

Barry "Uh, um um uh, ok"

Hillary "Here's the deal.  Now listen carefully."  "Bill, I do consult with him sometimes.  Bill and I know that a peanut butter sandwich should be able to beat McCain this year, but a peanut butter sandwich is united and right now we Democrats are split virtually down the middle.  Without my 18 million, you sir are fucked.  Excuse my english but I've been spending lots of time in bars with regular people."

Barry "um uh So what's the deal?  I really wanna be president you know."

Hillary "You'll need to agree to do some stuff for show, like begging Bill for my hand and also asking his forgiveness for the vile crap you guys said about him, Ok?"

Barry "Yeah sure, whatever."

Hillary "Think about what you'd give for what I'm offering then think again.  First the Big Dog will hit the road and travel all over Florida and anywhere else he's needed.  Then I will proceed on the biggest road show a runner up has ever done.  I'll speak to more people at more events than even you will.  I will guarantee you the election.  I'll get you most of those 18 million voters."

Barry "I'd give you the VP for that and one of my daughters."

Hillary "Shut up you abuser.  I told you I will not be your VP."  "I will be your Secretary of State."

Barry "Secretary of...."  Hillary "I said shut up damn it"

"ok"

Hillary "Here's the deal.  I'll be Secretary of State for 3 years.  I'll solve the Israel Palestinian conflict.  I'll put Putin in his place.  I'll negotiate a long term truce between India and Pakistan.  I'll bring Cuba back to the world and make nice with Chavez.  I'll even go to Tehran and let those mothers know where the cat died."  "got it so far?"

Barry "Yes but, why 3 years?"

Hillary "Because tonight you will sign an affidafit stating that you will not seek a second term.  Your girls are getting to their teen years and you and Michelle decided that 4 years in the White House is enough for the kids."  "Americans will love you for putting your kids first".

Barry "One term and you want something in writing?" 

Hillary "The paper will go into a safe deposit box that Diane owns.  It will only come out if you try and screw me.  Everything works out and you can burn it yourself."

Barry "Is that all.  I agree to one term and you'll carry my water across the finish line in exchange?"

Hillary "Well not quite all.  Here's a list of all my friends and Bill's old staff that I want you to put in charge of your administration.  You can be President, Barry, but you'll do it with my people and my programs.  That way when I take over in 2012 the first four will be done and I can spend the next eight refining and improving upon my, I mean your first term."

Barry "Cool dude, I'll sign and shake."

Hillary "Not so fast bud, there's one or two more little things."  "Actually three things." "I want you to set Bill Richardson up as commerce Secretary then at the last minute tell him to get lost.  Second, I want that lying sack of shit Donna Brazille, the one who promised to resign, to have no place in government.  Third and most important.  Howie Dean goes back to Vermont.  He wanted HHS, fuck him.  He gets nothing, got it?  Nothing at all."

Barry "Where do I sign?"